Rob Fox, author of the critically acclaimed Z-Day is Here, fucks with the wrong Mexican in his review of the highly anticipated Grindhouse spin-off, Machete, starring Danny Trejo!

Review by: Rob Fox

Blood, guts, severed limbs, naked women, and more decapitations than I have fingers on both hands and all of this before the opening credits!

I must admit that I went into this movie with very high expectation; almost too high, and I am very happy to say that I was not disappointed at all.  The movie was exactly what I had expected and more.  From the opening scenes to the final rolling credits, I was completely entertained and left the theater wanting to sit through the movie again and again.

Danny Trejo, played the title character Machete with all the style and grace of a bull in a china shop; if the bull had a 14 inch blade and the china shop was full of patrons.  Other actors would have been intimidated acting with the likes of Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Don Johnson, Cheech Marin, Michelle Rodriguez, and Steven Seagal (and many, many more well-known actors), but not Danny Trejo, when he wasn’t on screen, I found myself wanting more of him.  He delivered his lines in pure Grindhouse style and with absolutely no apologies.

The basic plot of the movie is fairly simple on the outside, a Mexican Federal agent is framed, disgraced and chased out of his country, only to find himself given an offer he couldn’t refuse years later.  He is again double crossed and now decides to take matters into his own hands.   I don’t want to get too much into the plot though, as it truly seems to take a back seat to Machete’s over the top killings.

If I had to find one single criticism of the movie, I would have to say that the story line seemed a bit preachy at times in regards to illegal immigration.  Sure there were good points made for both sides of the fence (pun intended), however, I felt like if I didn’t believe in allowing illegal immigrants to enter the country, then I was nothing more than a red neck simpleton.  By the end of the movie though I was having too much fun to sit around and pout about differing views.

So many movies now a days seem to take the high road and like to push the envelope just far enough, but then pull back at the end.  Machete not only pushes the envelope, it slices and dices the envelope into tiny bits and pieces, then staples it to your forehead.  The movie never pulls back, and never lets up on the fun.   I will say that this movie is not for everyone and people do need to understand what kind of movie they are going to see before they shell out their hard earned money.  First and foremost, this is a Grindhouse film; the dialog is cheesy, the blood platter is abundant, and the action is way over the top.  If you go to this movie expecting anything else, you will probably not enjoy the movie as much as everyone else in the theater.  If you do like that kind of action, then I would say camp out at the theater the night before, to make sure you see this movie as quickly as possible, so you have time to watch it again and again.

- Rob Fox

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